` constraint

2007-04-08T18:53:00.000+08:00

Why am i looking forward to it? I must have been a loser in life so badly that i'm running away. I'm waiting so badly to step on the greener grasslands (sand perhaps) of Pulau Tekong Besar.
My parents called me a spoilt brat half a year ago, but their treatment was very much better these days. No more rantings from them that i almost felt adopted. I wanted to pay for my retake so as to trigger myself to be serious in wadever i do, but dad stepped in and paid. Dad was telling me about my previous generations when i felt i'm prolly the most useless heir of the family line.

2007-04-06T19:06:00.000+08:00

messy eh? evidence that im ridiculously well prepared for ns. These items don't just work as simply as you think. toilet rolls, for me to mummify myself 1st b4 putting on camopaint. black tape, essential for its multipurpose functions. Dettol and Dynamo, tools to commit suicide. A bottle of chinese medicine, to ease myself should i encounter gastric pains. well prepared? the most optimal combination of multi purpose equipments. prison break~

2007-04-06T18:40:00.000+08:00

extremely pleased with new handphone pouch i got for myself. It resembles a tennis racket bag. Got it to protect the new fone dad bought for me. Its an NS fone. Nokia 2626. It has a mirror smacked right on the screen, such that whenever im nt using the fone, it goes on standby mode and i can see myself in it. me and my nerdy ns specs... I attached the tail of my pouch to my bunch of keys, a very big bunch of keys. 1 for my gate, 1 for granny's gate, 1 for my main door, 1 for granny's main door, 1 for my room, 1 for my letter box, 1 for a cupboard in my school that i duplicated illegally back then, 1 for my private padlock... There's another metal piece sticking out of my key. Its a miniature shaft. Its supposed to be a keychain with both a miniature sword and a shaft i got from japan. broke the sword unfortunately. As for the black rectangular rubber strap with a hook, its a car's key chain for one of granddad's old cars.

2007-03-26T22:57:00.000+08:00

another weekday as usual. as they warned me b4, i wun be able to discipline myself to study. true enough, i had no motivation. Then, i rmbed, i was scheduled for dental appointment and traffic police test. Need to get more stuff for ns also. Still short of a watch, an alarm clock and washing detergent (no idea how to use it).
arrived at the clinic half an hour early. doctor nt there yet. walked around in HMV. took off my braces. the entire process took more than an hour, including X-ray and all that. Flor waited for an hour. but i was stil nt done wif scaling, polishing and whitening. rescheduled those appointments. No payments for the day since i wil be gg again tml.
Felt a bit insecure. Mum doesnt trust me to my own nets card. She gave me cash for dental, which i end up nt using. Carried 700 bucks walking around in town again. I tot e best place to look for cheap watches will be lucky plaza. True enough, 3 for 10 bucks watches hung right in front of the entrance. making my choice between 25 bucks ugly casio watches and cheap and ugly 3 for 10 bucks disposable watches. Didn buy anytink in the end. ran out of tym. had to cab down to bbdc.
late for test by 12 min. last to reach. 1st to go off. the test was much easier than expected. didn really study and i passed. supposed to go back to town and meet yman and flor. felt a bit pointless so i went home instead hahas.
took a peek into the mirror. OMFG i look lyk frankenstein. parts for my teeth yellow and black! vvv bad decay. cant really do much cox of the braces. need desperate whitening and cleaning. Feel really strange also. Felt as though i had layers of gums. Not used to the freedom yet. flor says i look lyk a nerd in my new specs. ^^ yman says i look lyk batman. -_-

2007-03-25T21:29:00.000+08:00

friggin tiring, esp when i tried to hard to memorise essays and nth gets in. i memorised 1 essay, copied it out once, then tried practisin it under exam conditions. every word was perfect. but when i tot it was time to move on to another essay. i 4got 30% of the essay i memorised. now, im more or less done wif efficiency, moving on to other chapters.
played tennis wif zhihao 2days ago. he just fin his common test. called 100 to check for cck tennis cours booking hotline. waited for 3 min, an indian picked up. "can you please tel me the number for me to book tennis courts at cck stadium" "There are three numbers, cck sports hall, cck stadium and cck council" " and there is also another one, yio chu kang tennis centre" "can i have all the numbers then, all except yio chu kang" "you are onli entitled to 2 numbers per call"
onli played for 1 hour, but was extremely pleased wif a lucky shot i made, which i tot was spectacular. the ball hit my frame when i tried to slice it, generating an abnormal amount of pressure to the ball. it floated and when i tot it was gg out, it swerved to it right, travelled along the white line, barely made it across the net, then dropped immediately as it was meant to be, kicked off at an wide angle, 75 deg from the line. Had to admit its a lucky frame shot, but i was amused.
had to start gathering stuff for ns. made a pair of specs that make me look lyk batman. dad drove me down to mustafa. 24 hour indian's paradise. prickly heat powder, loreal hair shampoo(short hair use) , asience hair shampoo (long hair use), asience hair conditioner, dettol body shampoo (deodourant shower gel) , t3 facial cleanser (acne prevention), eversoft facial cleanser (tones skin), still short of washing detergent, alarm clock and watch.

2007-03-22T13:57:00.000+08:00

5 hours of mugging but i was onli capable of memorising half an essay (15 marks) 1 bottle of chicken essense a day to keep myself focused. I'm a mugger, a full time mugger. =)

2007-03-18T22:51:00.000+08:00

I NEED MORE BRAIN CELLS. part of the reason i derived for my stupidity is becox i hate eating fish. fish wil be my fav food from 2day onwards.

2007-03-18T00:26:00.000+08:00

im beginning to tink that i sound lyk an old man. HOW CAN I FAIL THEORY? i have no common sense. PLAIN RETARDED. when everybody else talks bout uni courses, im the onli one left out. I DESERVE IT. from 2day onwards, im gonna memorise essays. PHRASE BY PHRASE, WORD FOR WORD. im so ashamed of myself. especially to mdm loh, and mdm yaty. my parents want me to go to SIM. but i persuaded them to let me retake. i even told them i'l pay wif my own money. the money i earned from standing for long hours (11 hours per day) the money that caused the skin on my palms to peel off, blisters to grow on my feet. nevertheless, i must nvr forget this: sorrow is a display of weakness, avoidance is a form of cowardice. All i have experienced was just an epitome of hardship. There'll be more to come when i have to study in ns. i'l be prepared, for this tym at least.

2007-03-09T13:15:00.000+08:00

OMFG. i must be fuckin' retarded. finished the entire book of 510 mcq qns and stil fail my evaluation twice! zzz.

2007-03-05T11:51:00.000+08:00

The sun's out. not rainy anymore. Nvr felt so highly motivated b4. gonna study. Taking my final theory evaluation tml. gonna mug my head off. studying harder than my A's.

2007-02-24T17:50:00.000+08:00

Plan 1: If i eligible for any uni courses. Psychology? Business? Sciences? Architechture? Confucius once said, "Find a job u really lyk, and u wun have to work for a single day in ur life". It's gonna be an ultimate decision that wil impact my entire life. I've tried banquet. no talent for it. I've tried sales. not so bad. mayb i should try more and learn more. but time is running out. the A's are coming out in a few more days. The college just sent me a letter reminding me to pay up the amount i owe them when i go back to retrieve my results. -.- anw, coming to think of it, plan 1 is least lykly to be feasible so may i can stop thinking bout the courses.
Plan 2: If i am nt eligible for any uni courses. most prolly wun be considering polys and private unis. Retake! I've got 2 chances. one this year and one nxt year. then the entire syllabus wil disappear from the world forever. Taking into account any obstacles (driving lessons+national service) , i'll prolly be left wif no tym for revision. Then there wil be no point in retaking when i noe im gonna fail again. have to squeeze tym out.
Some frens, though they are the minority who said so: will pass one la. the rest, including my parents: have u decided wad ure gonna do when the results come out? already expecting me to fail. -.- but true enough, i wrote the scripts. i wrote rubbish on the scripts. >< No on i can blame but myself. zzz.
Lil bro's godlike now. NJ just called to tel him he passed the audition. gd results in almost all aspects of his life. making me look so stupid now. now my parents are pressurizing me. Dad wants me to take either architechture (i cant draw well) or psychology (needs bio background and i dun have any). Making me do stuff i have no talent in. zzz.
Went to my piano and was trying to learn the next few phrases. Lil bro came in wif his cello, urging me practise a duet piece 2gather. "later, i practise my piece 1st" Mayb i wasnt persuasive enough, my practise turn out to be a chord banging session. He was playing his noisiest piece, the one he always use to wake me up in the morning, afternoon actually. Found it completely pointless to play cox i cant hear i was playing. I'l rather let him have the space to practise. His practise mite more fruitful than mine, i thought. Went to my com. Lil bro nudged me on msn. That idiot stopped practising when i stopped. -.-

2007-02-23T14:39:00.000+08:00

dropped at the bus stop, strolling home after tennis when i saw a familiar image glide past me. that car. that license plate number. Those sponge dices i gave mum for mother's day sitting at the back of the car! mum's becoming more and more dao. drove past me and didn offer to fetch me in. had to walk an extra 150m. was already v exhausted after tennis under the sun. then had to cope wif this kinda mental torture. -.- she was home early. It was onli around four. She knocked off at 3. came home to change for her company dinner at 7 in marriott hotel. dad's supposed to drive her there. so i took advantage of the situation and make dad drive me to harbour front 1st.
Showered, changed and left. Dad drove... we were somewhere near turf city already. then i realised. i 4got the tix. -.- U-turned back. dad was ranting away bout how im gonna die in tekong when my fone rang. ray was supposed to deal wif all those who are going cox some of us dun noe each other. but he had to back out in the end due to a proposal he had to submit the nxt day. he kinda broadcasted my number and handed over the tickets trafficking job to me. Due to traffic congestions, dad decided that its best to go there directly, instead of meeting them at harbour front. In the end, i was the first to reach the broadcasting theatre.
Walked through the gates. felt a bit stupid. cox all the pple there are holding posters and banners. and they come in cliques. lyk as if triads' disputes are going to be settled once and for all. -.- climbed up the ramp. settled myself on the railings to enjoy the sunset. above the roofs of some old bungalows, between the trunks of coconut trees, hung the sun so different from the one i experienced at noon. It was much gentler, barely warm enough to reach the flowers and cowgrasses growing before my beige converse shoes. every outline of the structures before me contrasts so well wif the sun... my fone rang again. one of those cliques just arrived. gave them the front tix, saving the back seats for ourselves. hahas. anw i delibrately chose a black shirt, made sure i wun stand out on air.
Ben and Cherie arrived shortly. went in and chose the seats at the sides. The host was a bit spastic. Got pointed out for nt abiding to his instructions. We werent the onli ones who were pointed out. He addressed 3 other ladies as guys, then pleaded the newpaper reporters nt to write about the indian man. The main hosts came in. Flying dutchman, "look at how beautiful she is, do you lyk her skirt?" The Ms sg universe runner up retaliated in a very least-insulting manner by mentioning his age. hahas. He ended it in a very gentlemanly way, "I'm a 50 year old man who appreciates beauty" >< They began to motivate the fans to cheer. The ushers shifted us a bit. was wondering if pam have a fan club too when the hosts made them roar and it certainly did answer thoughts. We founded ourselves to be where we were supposed to be, among the supporters of a pair of latin dancers who chose to dance hip-hop in a their own latin way. awakened by deafening screams and screeches.
took 93 to island cremary. ate 1 mudpie + 1 double scoop (nutella + very berry) Lil bro's ill. Went home immediately.

2007-02-21T22:43:00.000+08:00

had my reunion dinner in a soup restaurant. opposite far east. above dfs orchard. cox of granddad's death, my parents aint suppose to giv angbao this year. they giv pocket money instead -.- lyk every other year, we watched jack neo's new year movie again. I lyk the part when he brought out the limitations of social workers. Government officials are nt supposed to set up private companies on their own. how? Use ur wife's name. Hell many living examples in our very own political world. haha. Also lyk his emphasis on foreign workers in our public sector. There's this actor immitating to a very ridiculous extent, the accents of foreign workers. It is not that i despise the foreigners working in sg, nor am i afraid of them, but they're just plain disgusting. So much different than those overseas.
Couldn really move around much. nt supposed to visit anyone. Went to different temples to pray instead. Went to granddad's shrine somewhere in cck. then to another one in jurong. Suddenly felt the craving for swimming. Lil bro and i was deciding between cdans or jurong east. went thru a series of debates lyk. bbdc under renovation, the waters there wun be clean. but we made the wrong decision in the end. swam wif bangladash nationals in jurong east. Were thinking, "the waters in cdans mite be much cleaner", when another bangladash float past us and grabbed lil bro by his biceps, then tried to grab mine. Apparently, he was daydreaming, floating around. Lil bro backed off immediately. I flinched a bit, then hit him on his shoulder. Planning to send him back to bangladash, but he apologised. hahaha.
Played tennis wif gerald. then kai came for gym. Took a bit of creatine. It gave me motivation to work out but i still cant see the effects. 1 more mth to ns. Must train!

2007-02-21T13:48:00.000+08:00

Felt a bit bad. Cox i left those colleagues at their busiest times. Watched naruto all day. the new series is out. Played the piano. Finally getting a hang of life. The A's are coming out soon. Had to struggle between two different mentalities of mine. angel and devil kinda tink. 1. Think about sth which decides ur fate and you've completely no control over it. 2. Why think so much, when u already cant do anything bout it. Can feel my brains exploding soon. All i ask for now, is just a few more days of euphoria before woe befalls again.
Plans to spend these days:
A bit of pool, Swim in the pool, Tennis, build up a bit, Find "Hokage's funeral" scores and master it, Suntan a bit (too fair already), Grow taller.
Lil bro scored 7 disctintions for his O's. made me look so stupid. Too much pressure on me now. I desperately need a gasp of air, especially when pple keep asking me bout my expections of my A's. Normally i'll keep my cool and answer as if i dun care bout it, but it worries me so much dat i dun even realise myself sweating while talking. Stress!~ Any targets to hit? I'l hope for EEE. Best if i can get CCC. At least, it doesnt make me look lyk a dropout. hahas.

2007-02-20T00:37:00.000+08:00

Finally quit my work to enjoy new year. The last few days of work didn go waste. Was being rather slack. But i managed to break my own record and sold 46 pairs of shoes. Hush puppies made me write a resignation letter for him. I finished the letter and asked him why he wanted to quit. The letter wasnt meant for him. It's for van heusen's head. He was just making use of me to help him write a letter. -.- Basically, its a very "in" thing to talk bout quitting there, but nobody ever quits. -.- Cursing our superiors is part of our hobby as well, but nobody ever stands up to them. I wouldn call this sheer cowardice. According to my head, there's a rather profound theory associated wif it. Its called ren2 bu4 wei4 ji3, tian1 zhu1 di4 mie4. So, the entire departmental store is about pushing duties away. haha. As a result, the heads of various departments suffer both work stress and emotional distress. Van Heusen's head, a plump malaysian lady, was tormented by her manager and was found weepin in a corner of the store. I offered to help her rewrite her resignation letter and added a bit of sarcasm into it. Was being rather confident bout the prowess of that letter, but i still encourage her to send the normal one.
My very first enriching working phase ended in a rather dramatic, if nt, eventful finale. I was rather persistent use up the shopping break entitled to us every week before i leave. My onli trustable friend there, another van heusen's promoter, a VJ guy who joined after i wrote those letters, agreed to my request. Its nt really that difficult for him to help me out wif stuff. I made him help me out wif my last words of gratification to my department and go shopping wif me. All i need to do was to talk to his head and hint bout those letters hahas. Her friends told her to send a normal letter too. She need a work permit to work in sg and she cant get one wif a bad record. so eventually, she chose the letter of lies.
Spent my shopping break wasting time. The main purpose of it was to get away from my work counter. Its dull working there, especially wif that scheming auntie in my department, who wouldn mind giving up her morals just to get herself out of trouble, a very masculine auntie. Two counters away, another auntie from sergio tacchini was gossiping to everyone and warned them that they are nt allowed to talk to me if they dun wan troubles to find them. It irritated me a lot. Apparently, that auntie was warned by another collegue of mine, another auntie when her partner talked to me. A lot of politics involved. She made me sound lyk a monster everyone feared. Once, she was telling my fren to avoid me in the lift, right under my nose. I told that auntie directly, "If u've done nth wrong, then there's nth to be afraid of". One thing i seriously dun understand is that, my work productivity is obviously tons better than those fat and useless aunties and they're treating me this way. Idiots.
Then again, i made a lot of frens there, mostly pple of my age. My department head's a very nice person although she's got rather bad temper. she buys my meals for me so i dun have to walk out of the building and waste tym on queuing for food. The breaks are short, by not having to queue for food, more healthy digestion can take place. Also, she's got great kangtao for food. Always cheap. But on this very eventful last day of work, miscommunication took place. She informed that selfish auntie to tel me and buy food myself when she was held back by sth else. Apparently, that auntie holds a personal grudge against me. It was over a trivial matter when the supervisor asked me bout a missing shoe. In act of self defence, i narrated everything out and offended her. She delibrately told me wrong stuff this tym round and i accidentally ate other pple's food.
It may sound a lil comical to those promoters, for the food i ate belongs to someone they detest most, a very bad tempered lady from the office. She was astonished to find her food missing and checked the cameras till she found who the food burgler is. Felt a lil bad, but the promoters were enjoying it big tym. Had to explain everytink to that tigress. She wasnt a tigress after all. Quite kind hearted and gentle. Wondered why the promoters hate her so much. Offered her 5 bucks for the meal and the change for her to keep, but she onli wanted 2 bucks. ><
Everytink was solved. I spent half an hour translating the letter into chinese for my department head. Enveloped this letters into a very "price tag format" manner and pasted my barcode on it. hahas. It was a very nostalgic moment. Felt so carefree yet so sad i've to leave those frens. Exchanged contacts. Pple change a lot. Even my supervisor, a very loud and chinese national, had her presentable sides. I complained to her bout those terrorism i call it, and urged her to get rid of it. "Stay firm and no-one can invade" Thats her reply in chinese.
Left the departmental store early to do an illegal transaction. Dad's spinal operation went well, but he canot put too much strain on his back yet. So i thought of buying him a pair of slipper lyk shoes, that still look formal for him to wear to work. Ordered from the supplier's supplier haha. Beverly hills gave me the contacts and arranged everytink for me. Original price 106. bought it at 67. Made a gd deal, considering its an US product =)
Working as a sales associate is indeed insightful. We've seen the most demanding and fussy pple. We've seen the largest diamonds. Happened to hear interesting stuff on my last day of work. A Chinese lady from China spoke snobbishly in Chinese, "I hear that Singaporeans have no money to buy stuff". Passerby Ah pek replied in hokkien, "There are a lot of chinese prostitutes in Singapore nowadays". Its my happiest day of my working life.

2007-02-02T18:16:00.000+08:00

Saturday
Boring. was assigned to work in the fitting room. Stood there lyk a bouncer, pointing out available cubicles. Stood for 4 hours before i decided it has gotten way too bored for me. Helped the promoters fold clothes whenever i was free. Some promoters saw it as an eyesore when i onli work for 1 person, nt all of them. Obviously, i onli have two arms so i helped the busiest one. Because of this, i entangled myself in a series of gossips. Couldn care less either. 3rd uncle came to visit me. Reprimanded me cox i didn button my shirt properly. Duh? I'll look damn uncle if i wear clothes the way he does. Something cool bout the work there is dat we call each other by the brands we are liable for. eg. pierre cardin, levi's, guy lorache
Sunday
Hush puppies told me dat he sold 27 pairs of shoes the day before. I was motivated enough to beat him. Worked lyk a dog. Ran up and down the storeroom. I had to serve 4 customers once. Beat him with a total of 45 pairs of shoes. Woohoo. Bet its their all tym records already. Too tired to do anytink when i reached home. Layed flat on my bed after shower. Its my most satisfying day of my work history, then again, its the most tiring day.
Monday
My alarm clocks failed me. Nt exactly fail me. My arms betrayed myself. Was too tired to even open an eye. Work up late. Fell aslp on the bus. fone slipped from my hands. and lost it. Was late for work by 9 min. Reached my workplace and tried dialing my own number. Apparently, the person who picked up my fone had no intention to return it. Mum cut the line for me. Taking into consideration dat i lost it in chinatown, an elderly cum tourist central, theres no way i can get it back. Had no mood for work.
Tuesday
Hushpuppies's off day. Damn bored. no one to talk to me. My supervisor received another complaint from a tourist. She was blown up by the the caucasian for her poor attitude. Felt disgusted by the way she speaks. Chinese national, holding the position as a superior, ruining the reputation of Singapore. She received quite a lot of complaints for the past few days, and even the manager was hard on her.
Wednesday
Hushpuppies came back for work. Brentwood offered me wasabi nuts. Goldlion was there too. so i suggested dat we should make use of the shopping break entitled to us nxt week. Both Brentwood and Goldlion agreed. Told Hushpuppies bout it. He gave me a nasty reply in front of goldlion. Damn embarrassing. Went wif Kickers instead. Bought a new shirt. Played a bit of hide and seek wif kickers. Gave in and went to talk to dockers instead. The cashiers saw us and scolded us for talking. I flashed my shopping break tag and drove myself out of trouble. We mocked at the cashiers. Lee suggested dat i should quit since the pple there aint friendly.
Thursday
My head's off day. 200 pairs of new shoes came 2day. Had to paste price tags. tie soft tags. arrange and all that. Tried my best to do as much as possible cox tml offday. Green shirt got herself engaged in complaints again. Did a bit of promoting to a customer and he was somehow convinced. Told me to work in his company instead. He was quite convincing also. I cant learn much in such a place. Working in Changi airport will teach me more. More chio bu to see also. lol. He left me a namecard. Kickers look somehow sad for duno wad reason. Converse told us bought their warehouse sale. I WANNA BUY SHOES.
Friday
Offday. Gymed wif gerald. He told me dat kai is workin as a florist now. HAHA can plant flowers on his head. Told him dat and he scolded me lol. Haven seen lil bro for a week. He joined CJ CANOE. LOL. Grow lil bro grow! He can do push ups now. Dad fell in love wif screwdriver. I can help him finish his Remy Martin now wahaha. Gerald ordered creatine from states. It'll reach on monday. excited lol.

2007-01-23T23:03:00.000+08:00

Was late for work by 4 min. Tym passes fast 2day. The supervisor took leave 2day so i get to chat all day. Great accomplishment! I calculated my eating speed. Scored an avg of 6 min per meal! So freaking satisfied wif myself hahas. Collected a couple of contacts 2day. Just in case i decide to leave OG. Pays are better off else where. But by considering the working environment, OG isnt dat bad afteral. Although my soles stil hurt everyday, I no longer feel pressurized or obliged to work. Earned my 1st praises from a couple 2day. They also say they onli wanna buy if i can earn commission. LOL.

2007-01-22T22:33:00.001+08:00

OFFDAY! went dental in heeren. overslept and was an hour late. 4get to bring money also lols. have to pay the nxt tym. dental ended at 1. driving test starts at 1515. so i went taka, trying to find swarovski. Took me 30+ min to comb the entire departmental store. Played a bit of rpg game, and finally found them. wt and sz are working there as sales associates. chat for a while then took a train to gombak. both my ez-link cards are running low. had to walk to bbdc. By e tym i reach, i was already late by 30+ min. took the test anw. fin in 15 min and passed. made my pdl, dad came to pay by nets. He chat a while wif his fren and left.
Went touring around wif dad. He made me deal wif white cement and carry rusty metal poles. He kept complaining though. Met an american client and got down to business. Ate. went home and watched feng yun. sian! gotta stand for 11 hours again tml.

2007-01-22T11:00:00.000+08:00

Sales hit 1k last nite again. It could have been more if i haven't been transfered to the fitting room. Was hoping for 2k. haha. Worked full shift and was freaking tired already. Lil bro came to mock at me. Was damn pissed. I must persevere.
I've seen the rarest breeds ytd. An auntie shouted openly, defaming the company and i had to deal wif her til the supervisor comes. She was almost about to cry when she didn get the discount. -.- over 30+ bucks, she embarassed herself in public. This is how much aunties' pride are worth. She returned wif slightly red and sore eyes, obviously an indication that she teared, to tel me in much calmer tone (brainless still) that the senior supervisor had approved her of the discount.
Another whiteman from some niger country came to check out the shoes here. Apparently, he is some shoe expert involved in some shoe-based business. I made a slight mistake over the description of the product but my head corrected me. In the end, he onli bought a pair of shoes worth 49 bucks as an apology for the mess he made.
Basically, the job is about chatting. I had to chat wif a long breathed ah pek for half an hour after he decided nt to buy any tink. My soles are aching badly and i sustained another cut above my right knuckle. Nt really feeling so much of embarassment now, feelin slightly more professional already. I shall persevere.

2007-01-20T23:23:00.000+08:00

Sometyms i wonder how these people survive. They work full shifts from 11am to 10pm everyday. leaving tym barely enough for transport, meals and slp. They have absolutely no social life! This company employs cheap labour and exploits them, to an extent dat all my collegues are malaysians! Im beginning to speak wif a lil bit of malaysian slang now and this is seriously bad. I lack the spirits i always had. I feel low class now. Im as good as a bangladash worker. These people wake up in old, dirty and small hdb flats no more than a hen's coop, wear the same old clothes (poor designs) everyday, then waddle to work. They stand for 11 straight hours, trying to help their company earn revenue by serving others at their feet. Then, when night falls (which they probably wont be aware of) , they fall aslp on those mouldy beds they rented. The ultimate reason behind their poor welfare is their salary! Its way too low for human survival. I pity them. Then again, i pity myself.
If I dun get a proper A lvl cert and get into a uni course, I'l have to work lyk them for life. I dun wan to live my future this way. I've thought it all out. My monthly salary is barely enough to keep myself alive. I wan to live in a decent flat. I wan to drive a decent car. I need to live a flexible life. I want my funeral to be grand, lyk my grandfather's or even better. I want to study and be more serious in life. During these days I've been working, my toes and heels ache, my pimples are bursting out in numbers. I look 10 years older than normal and i seem to losing a lot of confidence and self esteem. This is bad. I had to bear wif a variety of tyrants and time wasters. Nevertheless, I must not quit. I shall persevere!
I met family 2day whose kid tried to question me bout my choice of words. I could have kicked him wif the new pair of shoes i bought 2day. His parents scolded him though. It is also irritating when lil children run around when i was trying to cater to the adults. Another customer boast to me dat wif his money he can buy 3 insoles when i recommend him the cheaper one. He tried out for bout half an hour and decided nt to buy any shoe. He rmbed my name though. When i learn to earn more money by myself, I'l change all the money to 1 cent coins and throw at him. Most of the customers are either regulars or foreigners. I've met some english, chinese nationals, americans, indonesians and even bangladash workers.
Work is stressful. In spite of that, i nvr regretted working, for i noe dat i can earn money on my own now. Im no longer dependant on my parents. I definitely sold more than 1k worth of items 2day. Too busy to even calculate. I just need the paper qualifications and I'l make the best out of my life. I shant mock at no one no more. As long as they are working a decent job, it is already something to be proud of.
My right shoe split 2day. I cant possibly wear a spoilt shoe to sell shoes. Dad came and bought me a new pair of Hush puppies shoes at 79 bucks.
Shucks! My feet hurts!

2007-01-19T23:13:00.000+08:00

My sales 2day hit 900! The full tym staff there tel me i'l get daily bonuses everyday if i work there full tym too. Morale lifting it may be, it is also strenous both mentally and physically. My toes are squashed at the front everyday. My heels hurt cox i had to stand for long hours. i had a slight cut on my left wrist. and worst still, serving customers make me feel inferior. I onli have a 30 min lunch break. Had to literally gobble down the food. All the collegues in my department are malaysians, but they are friendly and better than i expect. We've seen the worst customers. Those who critisize the goods and dun buy. But on the wider scale, most customers are middle aged and more matured.
I shall persevere...

2007-01-18T23:09:00.000+08:00

WTH! lil bro received his imported cello 2day. He got it at a rather gd rate consider it being an antique. Its sound quality is so much better than his current one which hes giving away. Looks classy also. Dumb lil bro joined CJC student's council.
I could have gotten a better job elsewhere. kel wanted to give me an assignment 2day but i rejected it. I could have worked wif Flor as a telemarketer. Any job i take up will probably bring me more money than working as a temporary sales associate. Dad wants me to work in the service industry though. Went to Bugis's branch for training. Transfered me to people's park. Currently working in the shoes department. Sold 8 pairs of shoes 2day. bout 600bucks worth. almost equal to my monthly pay already. The pay is rather pathetic though. 4 collegues quit b4 me because of the pay. I shall persevere.
prayer for the day: GO GERMANS
wish of the day: GROW TALLER

2007-01-17T22:18:00.000+08:00

Went lot 1 to collect money from a fren. Played tennis in Yio Chu Kang tennis centre wif Jeff. E dumb racket had no tension at all. Grip falling off also. Skin on my right thumb fell off thanks to the grip. Kept hitting the frame also. Lyk frame shots though, they produce uber spins but there is a price to pay for. i'l get tennis elbows. Cant serve also. gymed the day b4. all faults. Derived a whole new playing strategy, sounds kinda stupid and retarded though, but it will work for me. 1.Dun bother to count the scores if u can. (Why be exposed to pressure? Mite as well just be ignorant and make every shot a power shot) 2.Dun bother looking at e opponent's movement when the ball is approaching you (Dun be distracted. Just concentrate and hit the ball hard. Target the corners. Alternate corners if possible) 3.Concentrate on every shot (Stop tinking of rubbish, my nursery teachers call it daydreaming, cant seem to get rid of this habit though) 4.Run for everyshot (We're racing against time! Stop being so blur) 5.Play loud (kinda against wad coach taught us. but i just thought the world is practical. Kill b4 u get urself killed. besides, being ruthless also help to boost my morale) 6.Play wif style (I dun profess to be v gd at it, just saw a couple of morons playing in v weird manner and still get their shots in. kinda disgusted. I'l rather trade consistency for better style) Jeff ask me to take part in Singapore Open held in march. i dun tink i'l survive past the 1st stage. Dad is so against it too. He bought lil bro a cello worth 1.5k from gremacy, but wouldn even allow me to take part when the entrance fee cost onli about 20 bucks.

2007-01-17T11:05:00.000+08:00

Woke up a lil late. OG called when i was aslp. Work approved. working in people's park. Jeff wanted to play tennis, but tight schedule. cancelled it in the end. went gym wif yman instead. didn do much as usual. jog on the track mill a bit. then did pull ups. It seems dat the onli part of my body i had been excercising is my back muscle. I've got parallel biceps and forearms way smaller than dad's, long sleeky legs and a yet-to-grow beer belly.
Supposed to club b4 cx gets into tekong. Dad sponsored me. Didn go club in the end. Tuesday a bit sian. Drank bacardi in forbidden city. Then a bit sian. Drank again in crazy elephant. Order 2 draughts, but they gave us 2 jugs. 1 jug= 4 draughts. Played pool. loser punch. stopped after a few games. won all the games. cx doesnt want to punch anymore. hahaha. A bit tipsy after the drinking. Did a bit of social smoking. Then cabbed home. Spent bout 120+ last nite. cx didn bring much money out -.- one-fifth of my monthly salary @@ Money's hard to earn.

2007-01-16T03:24:00.000+08:00

Its has been eleven years since dad raised his voice at me. Somehow, feeling assaulted and insulted by his authoritative tone, i left home, in search of wad i lack badly, composure. Just when i tot i could be a lil polite and respectful, they made my blood boil. I stepped into the 2nd hall, asking mum lyk wad i use to do when i was in primary sch if i could get out and play pool now dat i've found a decent full tym temporary job, and had been home bounded for more than 2 weeks. I clearly understood dat it was nearly eleven and night life isnt gd for health till dad thundered "NO".
He was the one who insisted dat i should find a decent job and shouldn stay pampered. He was the one who undergo surgery when there wasnt a need. Its nt about fillial piety, nor m i rebellious. I stayed by his side for entirely 2 weeks when he needed help. For as long as i live, he never rmbed even his sons' names, let alone bdays and age. I once thought my parents are reasonable, but they are nt. Feeling threatened by his act of manliness, i left home. I tot there was room for discussion, but i was wrong. I should have just left w/o a word, lyk how i always do. I picked up xiaobai and left home.
Pool is the right sport for me. It calmed me down. Played til 2. Then ate mac. Mum offered to fetch me home since there were no more bus services available. Rejected all her calls though. Im spoilt no more. Took a cab home.
The last tym (1st tym also) dad raised his voice was when i was 7. Threw a pair of scissors at mum when she forced me to study. Was so damn freaking tired already, still must study. Dad locked me in a room and caned me. He locked the windows too cox i was howling.

2007-01-13T23:27:00.000+08:00

Luck hasnt been on my side lately. Dad and granny made me help them buy toto. All their picks missed badly. Kai managed to recoup a lil for me though. Now dat im officially a punter, consistency is imperative for ultimate victory. Wad goes around comes around. Gambling isnt a long term solution for survival, but i cant lose even in short run. The laws of probability cant possibly fail me. The underdogs shall fall 2nite. *sinister laughter*
Dad is fit for paper works now. He'l be starting work on monday. I need a decent job too.

2007-01-13T01:16:00.000+08:00

1st times
work sux. Money dun come easy. I onli worked cox i owe kai money. Tonite is e worst working nite of my life. 1st, i offended my team leader, a skin head. "Jason Chua" I heard my name called and stood forward. "Say yes laa", he spoke in a friendly tone. I wasnt paying much attention to him ( tinking of sth else ) , so i merely grunted. Food serving alone already isnt easy. I had to bend down towards the table, stretched my legs and tilt them at a certain angle and begin portioning. After the 3rd dish, i could already feel the strains in my right knee cap and spine, so i went to the back to flex my joints a lil. Skin head caught me and went, "what the fuck you doing down here?". I felt a surge run thru my veins. The 1st tink i could tink off was to check out whose head is harder, but i dismissed that idea immediately, tinking of how badly dad wanted me to learn to tolerate. Cooked up some story to get out of the way.
Nxt was the drink server auntie whos in charge of the same tables as me. Kept muttering dat i made a mess of the food and offered to help me do almost every part of my job. Since shes such a workaholic, my work eased slightly but nt for long. Kept complaning and teaching me how to hold a bowl, ladle, fork and spoon blah. At some point of time, i begin to realise how spoilt i was at home. Then again, i just dun see how she was able to feel so proud bout being experienced in serving pple. Its afterall a low class job. Though im nt really disgusted by this, this guest contributed to my work stress. He had special requests for every dish that even the host finds it difficult to appease him. Worst of all, i had to put up wif all the stares skin head gave me. For these days i've been working, i had been stereotype dat the entire working society is rude, ill-mannered and basically savage. ( Yea, i have to admit i have attitude problem at tyms )
It rained quite heavily after work. I couldn catch the last train home either. Mum dont know the way there. Dad cant drive either. So both of them came to drive me home. Dad brought up the topic on how independent my cousins are. Then for the 1st tym in life, my parents quarrelled over how pampered i am. Dad kept blaming mum, but then again, it was the 1st tym dad interfered so much wif my life. ( He couldn do so in the past because he had businesses to run ). Work was already energy dissipating enough. Trying to resolve their quarrels made it even more stressful to me.
Dad was right all along. I cant cook even instant noodles. I cant even serve food for myself to eat. I had exactly no idea how to hold a fork, a spoon nor a pair of chopsticks proper for the last 18 years of living. I had been too reliant on mum for transport dat even cx finds me spoilt. I nvr visit the market for food b4. I had been too reliant on other pple to buy food for me. I cant chase a bird away when it flew into the kitchen. ( Dad's fav topic to mock at me ) I cant wash the dishes. Im worse than a vegetable. For the 1st tym in life, i felt shameful in declaring how spoilt i am. Alec was right too. I was in bliss w/o knowing.

2007-01-12T14:16:00.000+08:00

im immature.

2007-01-11T00:15:00.000+08:00

Why am i mocking at myself? This present sorrowful and pathetic state im in. Dad tried out the ez-link card system for the 1st tym in his life. Upon boardin the bus, he flashed the ez-link card on the screen instead of the sensor. The entire bus starred at him. Bus driver: "down some more. some more". Father: "The sensor spoil" For all i can recall, dad onli took bus before once. for onli 1 stop.
Cousin was shocked when lil bro and i decided to work. She noes well our job wil nvr last long. Lil bro overslept the 1st day of work and was fired. I had my own embarassing history of work. After a few days of work, i finally understood why dad also say ITE and poly graduates are leaders instead of jc students. They've fast reflexes. Perhaps, this is step 1 of the snake and ladders table. We slid down the slimy snakes unprepared. Been doing a bit of tertiary work nowadays. eg. feed dad wif medicine. He's able to walk w/o the walking frame now, a bit toddler lyk though. Hes living at granny's hse for the moment. He needs the convenience there. Granny can take care of him too. Mum prepared special mattress and pillows for dad's spine. There's a visible 6 inch long stitch down his back, a 1 inch scar across his chest and another faded 2 inch stitch down his forearm.

2007-01-10T17:45:00.000+08:00

Dad was cheeky when discharging from the hospital. He made frens wif almost all the staff for the past few days. mum gave me money. i dun feel adopted now. all i can do is to eat and slp all day. been washing dishes. practise more b4 ns. im officially unattached to those cigs. although, e feeling is still v sick whenever i dun feel happy. duno wad im talking bout also. but i dun touch them anymore.

2007-01-07T12:54:00.000+08:00

I noe its a filthy habit. Haven touched it for 24 hours. E feeling is seriously fucked up. I noe im done for. I rolled in bed for 18 hours. no strength to walk nor heave a word. I tink it's because of the 7 sticks i took on new year eve nite. Currently living off mentos strong mint. Drinking a lot of water too.
Dad's condition is slightly better. He can move a bit now, trying to walk a bit too. He can also eat now. But he threw up ytd. coughed a bit of blood out also. the surgeon says they have to insert a scope into his stomach to check if there are gastric ulcers. it's rather sickening to see tubings running in and out of dad's body, as if he live off machines and the needles poking thru his veins, although he nvr breathed a word bout them. pple visit him wif gifts. he welcomes them wif a big smile and talked to them lyk as though they are long lost frens. but each tym i pick up the fone to hear dat pple are looking for dad, i'l tel them he's nt able to pick up the call. dad wil scold me everytym i tel anyone hes warded. He wants a quiet environment. He wouldn let granny stay to take care of him either. I stayed to massage his thighs and let his muscles relax a lil. dad's a strong man. He took no morphine and warned me to take care of my body when exercising. hes v satisfied wif lil bro. wif his interests especially. his devotion to music and arts. cello and calligraphy. Im the eldest son of the entire family tree, yet im most immature and useless.
I passed basic theory evaluation. copied a lil from the book and managed to pass 63/70. just nice 90%. BTT's on the 22nd of jan. Mum cant be the breadwinner. i need a decent job now. need to study also. Still, im the source of all troubles. It was lyk this when granddad left us. and its lyk this again when dad's on the hospital bed. I need to learn. I need to change. Desperately.

2007-01-06T12:04:00.000+08:00

i tink im addicted. everytym im deprived of it, my hands shake, my body tremble. my body warms up and heart feels stuck in my chest. i've to put a stop to it. v soon. mum left early in the morning. She called when i woke up. Her tone wasnt stable. i wonder wads happening there. i deserve the right to noe wads happening. basic theory evaluation at 1. i'l be gg down after basic theory evaluation. Sick and tired of everytink. numb too. i need a break. It had been an arduous year. looking forward to chinese new year. need a fresh start. if everytink were to repeat again, i'l noe how to deal wif them. i need to spend year 2007 wisely and cover up for e tym i've wasted last year. and if everytink were to repeat again, i'l study and mug lyk a nerd everyday. i'l be more serious in everytink i do, in both tennis and studies. i'l try v hard nt to be a burden to anyone. i'l live life the way it should be.

2007-01-05T22:18:00.000+08:00

Relief
Fucking MOE faster allocate me to a sch la. damn poor already. lost nearly 200. damn suey. for the past 2 days, i've been wearing lampard and gerrard's shirt ( wif a big 8 behind each of them ) , hopefully can huat soon and clear off my debts. Shaved my head lyk ying1 mu2 already. need to be relief teacher soon. Played bball somewhere near granddad's shrine. play same position again. centre and forward. to get rebound. discovered dat i grew taller. need a few more inches and i can slam dunk already. suddenly felt the craving to watch slam dunk. called up sam chan and asked her to lend me.
Dad's operation went fine. just dat he cant move now. and he needs pple to feed him wif water. kinda relieved dat it was a successful operation. left the ward early to play tennis. mum arrived shortly after. relieved i no longer terrorise anyone's life now. i need a change. having died once, i see the urgency to start work now. to repent over my arrogance and ignorance, to repeat the modules i wasted my tym on last year, and to restore wad i rightfully own. gerald and yushen came for supper.

2006-12-30T11:43:00.000+08:00

went out for a few days. i need a change of bag, wallet and shoes. allocated 100 for wallet and 200 for shoes. but realised dat i didn have the money. even had to change all my rupiah back to sing dollar. walked all the way from fareast to marina. including bugis. need cash. so i went to work. Its a job dat no one wil wanna take up. having to repeat, "may i clear" all the tym u wan to clear the dishes. having to serve and portion out the food. The guests had a lot of comments. cox my hands kept shivering. "ask him to serve, lyk asking him to die lidat" wthx zzz. accidentally lost of footing and banged the sharkfin on the guest table. >< when the other tables are already done clearing up the leftovers, we haven even serve the food. e manager wif the same name as me help us serve then kena scolding. swissotel is definately nt a place to work in. onli muds and ITE grads work there. have to wait for them to smoke somemore. another breed dat i felt was most irritating are the chinese nationals. why the hell will they want to employ stuff who wants to slack and complain bout the aircon all day. and they are worse than pigeons. they caw all day. canot queue up to get the food some more. damn savage. the uniform doesn suit me and my hair. regretted so much for shaving bald cox of the job. at this rate, i'l be hunchback in no tym ( tall pple canot serve food la, have to bend down and all dat ) 2day wil prolly be my last day at work. son of a bitch.

2006-12-28T22:21:00.000+08:00

bintan is lyk an artificial heaven built on earth. Its a pity dad didn bring his golf set along. It all started wif all of us in bad mood. woke up at 7 in the morning. dad drove to tanah merah terminal. did all the administrative stuff and was ready to go thru the immigration department. then mum realised my baggage wasnt there. i had to go back and check the boot of the car. it wasnt there too. then mum called to report dat she checked it in already. panic sia.
Unfortunately, i was left wif onli the front most seat. The fun part of the ride is dat i get to gallop for 60 full min. I managed to hold on to the reins for 55 min, but just when we were almost there, i threw up unexpectedly. the lady nxt to me offered me a plastic bag and soem tissue.
A bus took us to bintan lagoon resort where we get the warmest welcome, an asianic gamelan dance wif refreshing lemon grass drinks. E most fun part in bintan dat i'l nvr 4get is the buggy. Every villa comes wif a buggy and a private pool. Didn really put the pool to gd use due to the rain. Onli lie down and soak my legs in it for 10 min. Get to try out driving. They get to experience the most thrilling rides ever. But i improved. Lil bro said i made tremendous improvement the 3rd tym i drove it.
Beach: the waves there are quite high, but they are nt the highest i've seen. Desaru has the highest waves. Smart lil bro told me dat the highest waves can be found in malaysia on boxing day 2005. He also discovered dat bintan resort is actually a temasek holdings' investment so all the transactions there are in singapore's currency. mum bought a coconut shaped handbag. The stuff in the resort aint cheap. But it doesnt matter, mum and granny cooked there everyday. save all the food expenses. The monsoon season's quite a turn off. rained all day, had to do indoor activities lyk table tennis and snooker all day. Drank carlsberg at nite.
We hired 2 caravans dat took us to the most posh place in bintan. Its worse than boon lay shopping centre haha. but i bought clothes there. 2 floral shirts short sleeve ( 1 blue, 1 bedge ) and 1 black long sleeve shirt, floral too and it makes me look so skinny. 1 white long sleeve pull over wif brown horizontal stripes. 2 chokers.
We chose the middle seats on our way back. all was clear and sound. couldn even feel the boat move. bought limited edition absolut vodka and martini from dfs. the parking fee was 30 bucks. dad drove lil bro to town, we ate out in boonlay shopping centre to check out the contrast. sent cousin home. Then go home. One of the most irritating stuff i encountered in bintan was the shampoo. i regretted nt bringing my own shampoo and hair conditioner. Overabsorption of chlorine already caused them to wind up. the beach breeze made it worse.

2006-12-21T21:56:00.000+08:00

it drizzled for the morning. sam insisted that the rain was too disastrous and decided nt to come out. i acted angry and went to bbdc myself. fucking failed the practices again. left early no mood. go play tennis in sch. comments he had ytd, "he can onli serve, game play zero, so after he serve he can move aside and let his partner continue." overexerted shoulder and back muscles ytd. cant serve power shots. used top spin serves instead. comments 2day, "he play tennis, ball must hit frame. nvr hit frame ball wun go in." hell him and his broken lingo. ate in bpp. slacked round and came home. ate at home again. big appetite. gg out to have supper again.

2006-12-19T22:32:00.000+08:00

guess i nvr made the right decisions b4. woke up heavy headed and went straight to swissotel and attended its work training session. I came to realise dat defying them might not always grant me pride, but plain stupidity and immaturity. Reached there slightly late, but managed to get into the ballroom. He was commanding some 200 strong. strong? my eyelids drooped slightly. My entire respiratory system felt lyk its clogged up then once again, i felt the craving to suck a butter methol vicks sweet under my tongue. the training lasted longer than expected. gw and flor felt discouraged by the rain to leave their hses. and did nt join me. I processed my data and waited for Evan to shoot a picture. We lost ourselves in the rain and took a wrong direction bus. It took us, due to the flood, traffic jams, and our poor sense of direction, 2 hours to get home. took dinner and tucked myself under the cosy blankets of my bed.
To someone whom i owe my senses dearly to: i'm sorry.

2006-12-17T19:08:00.000+08:00

sian. feeling strains all over my body. enjoy whacking tennis balls still. but no muscle to whack. strain zzz. got loads to brush up cox haven been playing for quite long. and more importantly, i need more brains and consistency. not to keep whacking balls but placing them deep with both power and control. cant swim too. i'm supposed to teach my lil cousins swimming so i put my personal msg as "unlicensed swimming coach". Some dumbhead ask me to teach her swimming hahaha. boring. mum wun give me money. dad wun either. nvr felt so poor b4. either way, i'm not working no matter how hard they try to force me. prolly start work later in the year.

2006-12-16T13:12:00.000+08:00

The healthy man i used to be. Attempted to wake up at 7 but mum did a bad job. woke up at 830 instead. reached sch at 9+ and played tennis. e whole day. Felt so much purified and back to be old self. Played for the whole day. suffered from cramps and aches. Apparently, im quite well known to my juniors. thanks to coach. Bit weird, but funny still. jeffrey junhong and zhihao was there. same old problem: cant play under pressure.
Physical strain to my body: back muscles, left abdominal muscle, right forearm, right bicep, left thigh. lost a toe nail too.
in worthy exchange for a healthy lifestyle. =) cleansed.

2006-12-13T02:56:00.000+08:00

mood: sad
last theory lesson and i can stop watching clips of how pple die due to car accidents. sze min attended the same lesson as me. e instructor was damn boring, i'l rather have henry look-alike to teach. was appalled by the air bag demo. its bout how the air bag inflate in front of you when u meet up wif a car crash. nt v sure wth a half clutch is. supposed to hold for 3 seconds and wadeva the fuck. gerald who took e test 2day, msged to say dat he didn make it thru. 32 pts.

2006-12-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

1 week ago: Went out to play pool wif a few animals. They were freaking noisy. Played onli 1 game. Lost to noobs i cant believe it! >< Dad called and started roaring at me. Supposed to report downstairs and wait for him to fetch me. We went to enrol in bbdc. Attended a freaking dumb briefing session and returned to find the animals. Walked from Sembawang mrt station to a thai restaurant and they ordered inedible food. paid 16 bucks to eat rice, kang kong and corn. Picking bones and unshelling prawns sound troublesome to me. Played lan for an hour. Intended to drink wild turtle soup and eat more in satay club but i had a small appetite dat day.

2006-12-09T23:26:00.000+08:00

had my 1st driving lesson. basic theory 1.01. the instructor look exactly lyk coach la. same hamster lyk build. same hair style. same broken english. same accents. same humour. an exact duplicate of him. went to vivo wif cx and saw a decent amount of familiar faces. gerald went there too. yman joined us and we tonned in cx's hse. We drank. They were sly. On the other hand, i was dumb. had to keep doing pumpings. I consumed 2 litres of screwdriver in 1 solid hour. slept at 2. Was unconsious. Slpt on his sis's bed and threw up at 4 in the morning. (From wad they told me, couldn rmb anytink) Bet she hates me now. >< Dead drunk i was and felt nt even the slightest tinge of embarassment. Woke up at 11 and was late for driving. Drank Big M and cabbed to bbdc. For Final theory 1.02. Same instructor again. That hamster. Pooled for 4 hours in mambo. Was leading gerald 7 racks to 1 til he caught up and ended 11-10. hell. Ate and went home.

2006-12-09T22:54:00.000+08:00

mum's bday. lil bro bought ingredients and baked brownies. or rather i'l say he bake while i supervise and teach. There are a couple of chores i cant teach him though. I cant crack eggs. I cant wash plates. I cant beat eggs. I cant boil the chocolates. i cant slot trays into a radioactive oven. i cant. The most productive work i rmb doing was sieving plain flour. The brownies, though unevenly mixed, turned out to be quite nice. Lil bro should apply to be a housewife instead. Mum and dad find them too sweet though. Dad was jealous he didn get brownies on his bday. lol.

2006-12-07T01:46:00.000+08:00

Grad nite was held in swissotel. I adopted Huang Ping Yuan's curly hairstyle hahas. Erick drove us there in his honda civic. Traffic jams and stuff caused us to reach onli at 8. We were barely on tym for food. Flying Dutchman plastered his head hahas. Took some fotos after prom. cant smile though. 1. braces 2. it feels dumb to whore into the camera and wait for the flashes to blind you. 3. not fotogenic. Jieyi complained when i gave the sian look into the camera >< Erick drove us back to his home then we strolled over to momo for post prom.
Some mutha fuckin shortie tried to elbow me. (obviously boxing out for space) I elbowed back and he stuck out his chest. Didn want trouble so didn care. Cx met us there. Didn really enjoy clubbing though. The complementary drink was nt strong at all. I gulped the entire draught and felt nth. Clubbing is boring. Mayb i shouldn club in future. Biwen found us transport home. A fren of hers fetched us home in his honda civic. (different version, different speed)

2006-12-07T01:23:00.000+08:00

Lil bro is the most sissified creature i've ever seen in my entire life. A croakroach crept into his room and he couldn slp. Didn even dare to try and scare it out of his room. Mummy still is his most essential tool despite 16 years of living in a world of pests.
Badminton wif him was total ownage. We were both trying to imitate spectacular moves made by professionals, making them look presentable rather than to win big. I never got to move myself to the back of the court for his shots are damn sissified. I was given ample oppurtunites to snap my strings. Played badminton lyk tennis hahas. backhand slices and over head smashes. My forearm suffered badly for smacking sissified lil bro too much. Out of nowhere, i felt this craving to play table tennis once again. It has been strenous on my right forearm recently. Wonder how long i can sustain. Drank Big M strawberry flavour and went home.

2006-12-07T00:39:00.000+08:00

dad spoke to me after a hostile decade of his fuckcare attitude. Unknowingly scheming, he sponsored me driving lessons at an even heavier cost, my freedom, having to abide closely to his lectures (which are ridiculous) eg. SIT STRAIGHT, WALK LYK A MAN, EAT FASTER. dumb uh? He drove me to CMPB to extend my passport, then have lunch in town. I felt all small again, recalling those days i use to tag along behind my dad's muscular back. We visited dad's fren's thai massage shop when the uncle there rmbs me as the "black black son" of dad. (those days when i bballed under the sun a lot) He asked dad, "ur black son turned pale?" I spent my afternoon there reading encyclopedias (feeling lyk a kid again) when the adults went out for a drink.
Played tennis at gerald's place in the evening. Just when i managed to get my serves back, he doesnt want to play games anymore. Played lyk noobs. Whacked a ball out of the court -.- Reminds me of those who never whack balls out of courts. 1. Zhi Hao. 2. Coach. hahas. Really treasure those days when they use to feed me wif balls to vent my psychosis on. hahas im insane ><

2006-11-18T07:42:00.000+08:00

we celebrated two belated bdays in town. pooled for a while- boring though. Then went clarke quay to drink. my golden mane attracted a lot of unwanted attention. reached from but cant slp. Took 4-5 cups of cold water to simmer down my body temperature to no avail. Woke up at 7am when mum and dad talked inconsiderably. couldn slp anw. Temper is accumulating itself in me.

2006-11-16T01:43:00.000+08:00

Give me the freedom i once yearn for!

A's are finally over. but there are tasks i cant carry out without sponsorship. Finite funds to accomodate my unlimited wants.
Needs: Money to play pool, New cue, Federer's racket ( old racket frame too big ) , New bag ( too many pple carrying my bag, makes me look inferior ), New shoes( sports shoes a bit sian ), Clothes for prom, Hair dye to look wild, New fone( dad sponsoring i suppose ), money to go KL wif frens, money to go bintan slack. BLAH. almost impossible to attain in a short period of tym, unless i work. but im lazy. Revision gotta start in january, cox im retaking A's. i want a perfect cert this tym. Too little tym to enjoy freedom. and in the 1st place, freedom w/o money is as bad as nt havin any. Where is the freedom i once long much for? Must i work?

2006-10-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

rain invaded my place when i was out for a haircut. near botak now. the heavy downpour took the haze down as well as the notes i placed near the windows. (bad omen: finishing line is clearer, notes wet? waste tym on cleaning some more) Lil bro had to work lyk cinderellas(scrub floors). Studied wif cx at nite. did 2 phy mcq papers. single digit for both. called flor to verify my ans. didn reckon she had to shriek into my ear. did pull ups wif gerald in the prescence of ah bengs and ah lians. those weaklings had nth better to do than to comment on my pull ups and show off verbally their concept of standard pull ups. "3 nt counted, so he onli did 10" couldn care less though. did a few one hands b4 i left the fitness corner. hahaha. suck on that bastards. drank long island.(1 week to turning 18!)
went home at 12. fin the last episode of life as we know it.(horny americans show). the babes were freaking hot. and a hundred times more horny than ordinary singaporeans. py sent me "the trout" by schubert. motivational piece. so hyped dat i did more physics. dad bought aljunied noodles home. nt much dif to me actually. my sense of taste is rather immune, never can be a cook.

2006-10-26T23:35:00.000+08:00

excitement wouldn be there if everytink were to be planned. and if unprecedented ant bites can kill, i'l probably be dead a thousand times. i stand strong, against all unworthy of their names, protecting my prized possessions. Should any defiant hamster of mine attempt to poison the rest, i shall name it "rat". apolitical me, not a political me.

2006-10-22T02:33:00.000+08:00

unproductive work in terminal 2. We debated on sensitive topics, on my perception of religion being a diversion for corruption(tried to sound diplomatic though), but was somehow convinced by Kel. KOed after i reach home. slept from 7am to1am. managed to find food in my kitchen.(haven eaten for 24 hours friggin hungry). ate for 2 hours. then slp again. It is my nature to slp for long hours, avoiding all unwanted happenings of daylight. WHY? cox wise men fight to win, but wiser men choose not to fight. I'l rather choose to retract my head and bask under the impregnable shells of mine. wahaha. bring me wherever the waves wish.

2006-10-16T15:41:00.000+08:00

Living in the midst of flora and fauna. We are breathing animals and trees! thanks to northernly winds. Work canot be efficienctly done wif the presense of the esscense of burnt trees. Alone near the starting line of the tracks to A lvls, Im being entitled to a larger volume haze than others. Gasping desperately for sufficient oxygen(which i may be at advantage), i'l have to limp thru the misty atmosphere, having little idea where the finishing line is, for it is no where in sight. I have all the space in the world, for no one is near me. What i lack is time, for every limp i make might probably means 2 hops for the rest. Far seers may grunt, "Seeing is believing", but if i cant see well, theres is insufficient anecdotal evidence to certify my loss for the time is yet to come. Im stil at comparative advantage wif the rest for im equipped wif space. wahaha.

2006-10-09T13:55:00.000+08:00

Supposedly, we should have been in erick's hse playing candles, but all of us were reluctant to move. met up wif gerald to play pool in bukit timah. cx came along. wif his new acjc gal fren. We didn see the point to play wif candles. Trees look more appealing to me. I'l rather play wif trees. Haze fogged the entire Singapore. PSI rose to 126 dat nite and car's headlights were uber. We can barely see buildings 100m away from us. Gerald left, cx sent his gf home and we migrated to lot 1's k pool. bw and ys joined us. Perhaps it was fate, ys lost his wallet after winning 200 bucks from soccer. We combed teckwhye's park wif him. cx left us at 2. tonned and played daidee. 1 cent per card. We wrote our accounts using a pink water soluble marker on a piece of serviette. Ys lost $1.17. Luck has oscillated out of his orbit. The world is indeed revolving though i would have been more pleased if he's loaded.
They kept 4 sparkles for me. 2 years ago, i threw a sparkle up in a tree, attempting to illuminate it, and was caught by the policemen on patrol the very moment i felt satisfied. 4 years ago, i threw another sparkle up the trees along the expressway. To my horror, wind directions were in favour of fire. Unfallen dried leaves burned a patch of the tree bald and with much gratification to my ancestors in hell, i was out of danger. The crowd was then dispersed. Maturity never seem to settle itself down in me. Ys and I compete javelin throwing wif lighted sparkles. I thundered the sparkle full court, lyk a basketball at 3am in the morning. hahaha.

2006-10-01T18:45:00.000+08:00

Self-convince: If you think Thirteen O Clock is just some mere Enid Blyton's Children classics to fascinate naive and guillible pre schoolers, ure greatly mistaken. Happy childrens day.

2006-10-01T16:15:00.000+08:00

Themes for discussion: Linesman, Thirteen

A linesman felt most clearly the bloodshed and despair. A linesman watches and learn in the face of fire. A linesman works lyk a dog whenever needed. What is a linesman? A Ball picker? A front line soldier? Linesman exists in all forms. all areas, all genres. Wil you consider one who has been failing consistently a linesman? One who bore the most excruciating pain in almost all fields. Failing persistently to gain either of the most basic attributes, strength, agility or intelligence. A man on the cliff of bankruptcy wil see the need for money and reputation. A man on a tower of death wil see the fear for both life and death. Smothered and stretched, heated and freezed in the epicentre of the prelims, a linesman wil see more than just an epitome of fear, epicene of reality and epicurism of ignorance. The battle of endurance have just begun. Nothing shall extinguish my flames for hunger of knowledge. May i metamorphosize into an avatar of vengeance, to avenge all the respect, pride and honour dat had been taken away from me. But how so? Time is the factor.
Hail to the lord of luck, to grant us the thirteenth option for survival. The thirteenth month which onli appears in the lunar calendar occasionally, the thirteenth hour dat we need most desperately to study. Thirteen comes and go as it wishes. Just 2day, i went to the temple to pray to granddad. It took us thirteen attempts to shuffle the cresent blocks for granddad to finally finish eating. It took him 45 min.(explains why im a slow eater as well). Have the laws of probability failed the thirteenth's god? Why thirteen? Or had it just been too much of conincidence dat i was hypotised my thirteen 2 years ago? Fret not, greedy ones. Dun try gambling. I tried 0013 last year. It didn work. Mr. Thirteen, we need you. Respond to my prayers.

2006-10-01T15:57:00.000+08:00

The pokadotted spherical stone sprang to life as a reasonable amount of upthrust was applied to it. It took flight for barely a few milliseconds, knocks on the blur and innocent yellow skinned one and pockets it, colonised beneath the depths of the map. There lies the fate and respect for the yellow skinned. History placed them down the drains, having no rights, no say, longing to be free one day. This made my 2nd successive jump shot of my entire life, pocketing the yellow numbered "1" (or rather once defined as first) using the white cue ball.(now placed before the first). Bankrupt now. No money to play pool. Study instead.

2006-09-27T22:53:00.000+08:00

Baking at my home wasnt dat bad. All of them complained it was too sweet. Lil bro and I enjoyed it loads though. Chefs: Janice, Biwen, Sam Wee, Yu sheng, Gerald and me. Too pissed to talk bout dat day anw.
Maths 51.5 Much lower than expected. But dats nt the point. Centre parting lee specially came over to me and told me i improved and did well. He added sarcastically in malaysian accented chinese dat i exceeded his expections of me getting single digit. Apparently, he loathed all retainees. Attempted to convince me by telling me im different from them now. As expected from him, i didn take it to heart. Neither was the impact hard on me when i received two consecutive F graded scripts from him. Paper 2 amused me though. scored 7 5 0 0 0 0 0 18 of the questions respectively. totals up to 30/90. 5 consecutive zeros being compensated by one 18, the qn i spent onli 10 mins out of 2 hr and 30 min on. To even believe i spent nearly 2 hours harvesting 5 consecutive demoralising zeros.
The resolution to work hard came forceful on me today. The pride, the hate, the pressure, the heat, the agony. Though we spent most of the tym discussing and probing into pool techniques, I was amazed wif our tenacity for 7 straight hours of immobility. Gymed for 2 hours and rewarded ourselves with a bit of strategic rummaging of territory invasion in wc3.

2006-09-25T10:55:00.000+08:00

Wrote this post in advocation of lil bro's blog. Hoped to digress a lil further on his pt. Artificial Intellienge can never outbeat natural stupidity. A lil bit of routined work dat contraticts each other and doesn make much sense to me. Computers, namely storage devices were born in US and Germany in 1941. They were meant to file our papers, work as slaves - Phones, PDIs, pocket pcs and notebooks designed and programmed such dat they hold data our brains cant hold. What is knowledge then? It has to date become the capacity ur brains can hold. All the muggers have to do is to programme their brains and memorise everytink to score well. Where had natural intelligence gone to? Thanks to meritocracy, they now lie 6 feet under perserverance. Is technology a diversion for progress or a nitro boost to efficiency? Originality is on the verge of extinction. Beware fools.
Swears: fuck off muggers

2006-09-24T21:09:00.000+08:00

wc3 to start my day off with. taught li couz of mine how to jam on the com. out for nite bikin in east coast. reached slightly early. so we booked into dhoby ghaut's zone X. they drummed. we bballed. py danced(para para). lost track of tym and had to cab there. Got onli the last bikes. low quality ones. ate and glided to bedok jetty for manga, slp, and cards. No alcohol. ran out of cash. Left bedok jetty for cv at 2. accident was imminent. kang did a heel jump but landed on the gear. It broke off. Spent the nxt 2 hours trying to fix it. bottle openers, drum sticks became part of our tool box.
Chipped in a bit of advice which sounded seemingly pointless to them. Everyone was willing to pay a bit for the gear set though. It doesnt make sense to me cox it wasnt our fault at all. The bike's condition was pathetic. With a bit of mechanics' knowledge, they managed to make it work w/o the gear. just dat it gives off a constant rattling tempo. we synchronised wif bell ringing and presented ourselves as hooligans on our return journey. ate and slept in mac. Left for the bike rental shop at 8. The attendent asked if we can give him half an hour to clear his existing stocks. We gleefully agreed. Arguments for paying for the bike were redundant. yman and tan were off the idea. Didn rub in cox it wasn my ic. Reached my comfort zone at 10. Woke up just in tym to catch sg idol.

2006-09-23T13:02:00.000+08:00

e mark allocations were off. spent 3 pages doing a kinematics qn. and 2 lines writing 10 mark case study qns. couldn care less anw. prelims are over. so m i. e morning paper was tiring enough already. spent the previous nite pooling and studying in mambo. reached home at 12. slept for 6 hours and woke up for morning paper. arduous day ahead. tennis at 6. gym at 8. pool at 11. movie at 2 in janice's hse. marvel vs capcom and soul calibre at 5. went home to wash up. Then. hair cut in jurong at 10 wif kelvin. pool at 2. they were late. so i went to popular and tried to memorise some diffraction grating eqns. the intention was there. productivity doesn matter. pooled thru out. kai and ys came. ended at 10. gonna get the diced cue( exotically finesse) after A lvls. kai had his meal. and we left. The 40 hour marathon ended immediately when i reached home. Lost vision. my mind and my soul. (probably they were already lost after the papers)

2006-09-19T19:50:00.000+08:00

i dread much dat mechanics mite come out. It didn. econs was promising though. memorised 3 essays. all came out. 4got 2 of them in the end. should be able to pass 1 qn. shared my kang tao wif the rest. yet wc blamed me for not telling him bout it. shouldn share nxt tym then. can tel he bears grudges. not impt anw.
embarked on a totally general and ingenious plan of mine. plans to unify. to eradicate all those unworthy of being in their position. to unveil the masquerade of more hidden dragons. a passion for myself to stil exist on earth even if i fail my As. i need more talents though. inspire me. with thanks to all who's gonna make it possible.

2006-09-16T20:57:00.000+08:00

maths' a goner. as usual. did all the short cuts, turnin my script into a charitable cheque. was disappointed. but i was more concerned bout tennis. we were supposed to play dat and was cravin for it. it poured for almost the entire day. cabbed to lot 1 and transitted to 190.( didn have to pay much. pm spon) played dota, wc3 blah. til 10. those peeps jio me go play pool. dad fetched me to timah. intended to ton but realised i got tuition e nxt morning. reached home at 1.
tuition ended at 1. He 4got to collect his pay. crouched myself infront of the lcd screen, hoping dat sumone wants to play wc3. but felix took 1 full hour to eat. by then, i was already in pool factor. bw bought us sg's tastiest dao hui( bean curd) from geyland lorong 19. dinner was horrible. There were fishes. lazy to pick the bones so i munched on them as well. they provide calcium anw. Lil bro came in and told me, " i had always been v appreciative of you those days when u brought my maths all the way up from 44 marks to 83 marks. now i shall give you more room for improvement. teach me physics" -.- scheming kinda guy.
In search for a niche, the wind element.

2006-09-14T17:27:00.000+08:00

Couldn find my entry proof ytd. bought one from the general office. Maths paper 1. lost bout 30+ marks already. Time was the factor. ate out in lot 1 and met cx there. told him bout the entry proof and he went, "you should have told the general clerk, cck sell at 50cents, there's been a decent bit of inflation huh?" shared sth wif us. "what should you do if u swear?", then he spoke in a melodious tone. "leave it to god in prayers~" wahahaha. told him bout the article i read online. ex PM goh encouraged procreation in Singapore to counter the brain drain issue, failing to mention dat half of his grandchildren live in mansions of Britain as Goh brings in millions. Main source: www.yeocheowtong.com Curious? LEAVE MY BLOG IMMEDIATELY AND CHECK IT OUT THERE.
Spent the entire day in wc3. Fog of war's the factor. haven't got the brains to command. lost to artificial intelligence(easy mode). improved slightly and managed to defeat normal coms. Then repeatedly blast tanya cai jian ya's beautiful love in the speakers. Practised a bit of jackie chan's endless love on the piano. Sad to say, my GP essay was too subjective. Switched on the tv this morning and watched Wifney Oprah donate 10m us$ to survivors of katrina. cool uh?

2006-09-12T18:02:00.000+08:00

Healthcare. Check out the least effective ways of using a hair conditioner. I'd say, "squeeze out excessive amounts of gel from the container. Coat it with an equal amount of shampoo. Mix and Stir. Apply it to the roots of ur hair. Scratch ur head for 2 seconds. Wash it off. Today is the day, i've been enlightened. The ultimate solution has prevailed. Three years supply of conditioners have gone down the drains. (croakroaches ans rats are prolly living off my conditioners. i wouldn be suprised if they had better hair quality than mine) Bottles of Loreal Elseve conditioners, extinguished to attain ZERO marginal benefits. Stay wild, stay puerile and most of all, stay tuned.

2006-09-12T18:00:00.000+08:00

Kites rise against the wind, not with the wind. -John Neal-

2006-09-11T14:06:00.000+08:00

GP exam. Fared badly. Wrote a totally sexist essay. Hope my marker's an mcp. Question goes lyk this, "Traditional gender roles is a thing of the past, especially with the help of media recently. Do you agree?" I must say i had limited contextual knowledge no dat topic. Intro was fine. (talked bout media carving a niche for themselves by introducing lady's magazines)
Exageration starts to evolve in 1st para. My pt on traditional gender roles is stil existent in the event of procreation goes lyk this. If this world is to be packed this gays and lesbians running around, the human race wil be pronounced extinct in the nxt hundred years to come. *(Media doesn play a part here, so no need to ans the nxt part of the qn.)
my 2nd para was full of names. copied some from eugene's essay. Prophet muhammad(duno how to spell his name, hope its correct), Jesus christ, Ahamdinejad, George W. Bush, Wolfgang amadeus Mozart, Johann Sebastian Bach, Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Leonardo da Vinci, Shakespear( always 4get how to spell his name), Confucius. All men. (Media canot conceal all this fact). no explanation. no elaboration. didn have tym.
Para 3. was about the few women breakthroughs lyk Condolisa Rice and Helen Keller and women infiltrating into education and psychological sectors. (give them a bit of face in face the marker's a female one). Ended off with. History adduced dat men are the superior race. and media have once again reassured this fact.(didn explain why, no tym) Extremely sexist. Just hope dat marker's an mcp or sth. (didn really ans the parts on media)
Paper 2. 1st passage a bit cheem. couldn understand Martin Luther King. Meritocracy opposes elitism( didn noe wtf dat is). I lyk passage 2 though. They were writing bout small lee's nepotism. I didn confront the lees directly. used "the government" instead. (a notch safer wahaha) Wrote a lil bout democracy, slightly off topic haha. DO YOU NOE? DAT THE POORER ONES, THE ONES WHO NEEDS TO SPEAK UP MOST, CANT DO SO IN THE SPEAKER"S CORNER? COX THEY CANT EVEN AFFORD TO GET A LICENSE? im apolitical. dun look at me. gone off track so yea they were talking bout small lee, i talked bout the old one and his ministers' pays, as compared to poor pple. I thought peanuts might help amplify the effect, but then again(no tym). I just need an unprofessional Anti PAP marker to mark my script and i'll get an A.
I hereby attached all my arguments to this - The world is more than just round, more than just a sphere, more than having onli 3 dimensions.

2006-09-10T14:53:00.000+08:00

The universe is lyk a grand cosmic symphony, resonating all the various notes - all the tiny vibrating strands of energy. - Brian Greene, best seller physicist author

Pace

2006-09-10T01:56:00.000+08:00

don't peak too early

filthy fifties

2006-09-10T01:25:00.000+08:00

its onli filthy cox i dun lyk it. i noe it seem pointless to say this now, but seriously speaking, certs and grades cant really accurately measure our capabilities and intelligence (perseverance prolly). partially due to external factors influencing one's progress and all that. But yea, we have no choice now. Just have to submit to it. RESENTFULLY. mugged wif lil bro at king albert mac. bet there were at least 30 pioneers there. not really conducive. but there're food there. gerald came at 5. played pool. tio thrash 11-2. then played punch wif ah neh. won 3-1. somehow, the pufferfish pose does work on being accurate. got a bit distracted while studying. ate tang yuan, sugar cane drink, baby kailan, kang kong, mixed vege at bukit timah food centre. notice there's no meat.vege rawk (mEAT- MEat). bought my new conditioner. paul mit-chell. To gd effect, it worked on grass and twigs. (assuming my scalp's the soil) came home shackled. cx ask me to ton some more. flu( ahaha weakling) - clench my teeth, roll my fists to accomodate the specks of salt. the world's practical, technical, mechanical. press on.